Key Takeaways & Article Contents
- What is Imago? Imago reframes conflict as an invitation to heal, not proof of incompatibility.
- The Intentional Dialogue: mirror, validate, and empathize, sits at the model’s core.
- Emerging research and client feedback show measurable gains in marital satisfaction.
- Certified Imago therapists Hope Spector & Rachel Fleischer guide sessions online or in person.
- Exercises and worksheets keep progress moving between sessions.
- Criticisms of Imago and how Music City Psych addresses them openly.
- FAQs about Imago Therapy.
Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance. They take shape through intentional daily actions, like choosing to stay present during conflict or showing kindness even when you’re feeling hurt. At Music City Psych in Nashville, Imago Relationship Therapy is one of the tools we use to help couples build or rebuild a stronger connection. Whether you’re mending old emotional wounds or future‑proofing a strong bond, Imago provides concrete skills for empathy, safety, and growth.
At Music City Psych, Imago therapy is led by Hope Spector, LPC‑MHSP, and Rachel Fleischer, LPC‑MHSP, two certified Imago relationship therapists grounded in current research with plenty of client experience.
Ready to see whether Imago fits your goals? Contact us today to discuss Imago therapy.
What Is Imago Relationship Therapy?
At its core, Imago Relationship Therapy is about understanding the emotional blueprint each of us carries into adulthood. That blueprint, which is called our “imago” (Latin for “image”), forms during childhood as we absorb how love, attention, anger, and connection are expressed in our earliest relationships. Over time, these impressions often shape how we operate and communicate in our partnerships. Without realizing it, many of us are drawn to partners who echo both the best and most difficult traits of our caregivers.
So what is Imago therapy, exactly? Developed in the late 1970s by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago therapy is a structured approach to couples therapy that reframes conflict as an opportunity rather than a sign of incompatibility. Imago encourages partners to explore how old wounds might be reactivated in present-day arguments and offers a repeatable process for building empathy, safety, and deeper understanding in a relationship.
Whether you’re in the early stages of a relationship or trying to break away from long-standing patterns, Imago therapy helps you decode the emotional themes beneath your tension. It’s not about assigning blame or winning arguments. Instead, it’s about noticing how your unmet childhood needs, like feeling heard, respected, or safe, may be resurfacing through your partner’s behavior and vice versa.
At Music City Psych in Nashville, couples often come into therapy feeling like they have been repeating the same arguments on loop. They’re not alone. Most of us develop these kinds of patterns in a relationship. But they don’t have to define you and your partner’s future.
What Imago Therapy Helps Couples Do
Imago isn’t just a lens for understanding relationships — it’s a method for changing them. Once couples recognize how childhood wounds and unconscious expectations drive tension, they can begin rewriting the emotional script together. Some of the core ways Imago helps partners reconnect include:
- Spotting recurring patterns. Tracing the emotional cycle behind repeat conflicts and naming what each partner truly needs beneath the surface.
- Normalizing friction. Understanding that conflict doesn’t mean incompatibility. It often reveals growth opportunities for both people.
- Shifting out of blame. Moving from “you always” to “here’s what I feel and need” using structured communication techniques like “Intentional Dialogue” (more on this below).
- Building safer habits. Replacing reactive behaviours with grounded responses that increase trust, emotional safety, and vulnerability.
- Creating a shared vision. Working toward a mutually defined future by articulating what a connected, secure relationship looks like day to day.
If you feel stuck in the same painful cycles, you and your partner don’t have to stay there. Reach out to begin Imago therapy in Nashville.
How Imago Relationship Therapy Works
Couples seek therapy for many reasons. Some come in crisis, unsure how much longer they can keep going. Others arrive with a solid foundation but feel like something important is missing. They may be looking for a deeper connection, more effective communication, or a way to stop cycling through the same unresolved arguments. Regardless of where they start, the common thread is often the same: something meaningful keeps getting lost in translation.
Imago Relationship Therapy provides a way forward. Instead of asking partners to simply “communicate better,” it introduces a step-by-step framework that helps both partners feel heard, respected, and safe during difficult conversations. This approach is especially effective when emotions are running high and traditional strategies fall short.
Intentional Dialogue
At the center of Imago is a structured communication practice called Intentional Dialogue. It’s a powerful technique that offers a new way of engaging, especially when partners are vulnerable or struggling to connect. Although the structure might feel unnatural or formal at first, many couples find that it creates a deeper sense of presence and safety. This allows them to reconnect without spiraling into blame or emotional shutdown.
The Three Steps of Intentional Dialogue
- Mirroring
The first step in the dialogue is to reflect back what your partner just said, using their words as closely as possible. This part of the process is not about interpreting, debating, or correcting. It is about slowing the conversation down to ensure clarity and connection.
Here is an example of a mirroring statement:
“So what I hear you saying is that when I’m on my phone when we are watching Netflix together, you feel like I’m not prioritizing our connection. Did I get that right?”
Mirroring helps the speaker feel accurately heard. It also reduces misinterpretations that can trigger escalation or shutdown, especially during emotionally charged moments. - Validation
After mirroring, the next step is to offer validation. This doesn’t require the couple to reach complete agreement, but it does mean recognizing that your partner’s perspective makes sense, especially given their personal history or values.
Here is an example of a validation statement:
“That makes sense to me. I know that quality time is one of the ways you feel closest to me, so I can see why that would feel frustrating.”
Validation lowers defensiveness and shifts the dynamic from confrontation to collaboration. It sends a powerful message to your partner: “Your emotions matter, and I understand how you arrived at them.”
- Empathy
The final step is to imagine what your partner might be feeling underneath their words. This involves taking an emotional risk by reaching into their experience and naming what might be true.
Here is an example of an empathetic statement:
“I imagine that left you feeling hurt or maybe even unimportant. Is that close?”
Empathy opens the door to intimacy. It shows a willingness to connect emotionally, not just intellectually, and helps both partners feel seen on a deeper level.
As using Intentional Dialogue begins to feel more natural, your therapist may introduce additional tools to deepen the work. These exercises are designed to help couples move from insight into action and keep progress going in the right direction between sessions.
- Couples Vision Statement
This is a one-page document that both partners co-create. It outlines the type of relationship they want to build, clarifying shared values, emotional goals, and daily habits that foster connection. - Behavior Change Requests
These are specific, actionable requests that help partners turn vague frustrations into clear next steps. For example, instead of saying “I need more attention,” a partner might ask, “Would you be willing to check in with me after work before turning on the TV?” - Childhood Bridge Exercises
These activities explore how early attachment experiences influence present-day conflicts. By identifying emotional echoes from the past, couples can respond to each other with greater empathy and less reactivity.
If you’re curious how Imago could support your relationship, schedule a consultation with one of our Imago therapists.
Does Imago Relationship Therapy Work?
When choosing a couples therapy approach, it’s natural to wonder whether the model actually delivers results. The short answer in the case of Imago couples therapy is yes, especially when it’s applied thoughtfully and flexibly.
When Imago is the right fit, the structure and co-regulation it provides can be a game-changer. By guiding partners through repeatable steps like mirroring, validation, and empathy, it often reduces reactivity and builds momentum early in the process. Here are some key points about the effectiveness of Imago therapy:
- A 2017 randomised controlled trial found that couples using Imago techniques reported significantly higher marital satisfaction compared to controls.
- A 2023 peer-reviewed follow-up study showed that gains in emotional safety and mutual understanding persisted six months after therapy concluded.
- At our Nashville clinic, clients frequently report positive shifts within just four to six sessions. They describe fewer arguments, faster de-escalation, and moments of connection that had previously felt out of reach.
Is Imago Therapy Right for Every Couple?
At Music City Psych, our therapists draw from Imago’s core techniques when they’re the right fit, but nobody is required to follow it rigidly. Some couples benefit from fully immersive Imago sessions, while others find value in blending its tools with other modalities. Every treatment plan is tailored to the specific needs, communication style, and relationship history of the couple in the room. To learn more about how we customize couples work with Imago and other techniques, visit our Couples Therapy page.
If you’re wondering whether using Imago, or just parts of it, could support your relationship, we’d be happy to help you explore your options. Reach out to discuss Imago therapy with a member of the therapy team.
Who Can Benefit from Imago Therapy?
The simple answer is that any couple can benefit from Imago therapy. It isn’t just for marriage counseling in crisis but can be a powerful tool for partners at nearly any stage of their relationship, especially when they want to improve how they communicate, resolve conflict, or reconnect emotionally.
At Music City Psych, we’ve seen Imago techniques support a wide range of clients, including:
- Premarital couples who want to build a strong emotional foundation before marriage
- Dual-career partners trying to balance parenting, schedules, and intimacy
- Long-term relationships that feel emotionally flat, where partners function more like roommates than romantic partners
- Partners working through betrayal or healing after broken trust
- Blended families navigating step-parent roles and co-parenting dynamics
- Neurodiverse couples who benefit from structured, concrete communication tools
Whether you’re hoping to rebuild trust, communicate with less defensiveness, or deepen your connection, Imago offers a flexible approach that meets you where you are.
Imago Relationship Therapy in Nashville
At Music City Psych, we understand that no two relationships, or schedules, are the same. That’s why we offer Imago Relationship Therapy in formats that fit real life, whether you prefer to meet in person or online.
Session Options
- In-Person Appointments
Our office is located at 4525 Harding Pike, Suite 200. With easy parking, a quiet waiting area, and a space designed for calm, focused conversation, it’s ideal for couples who want to meet face-to-face in a private, welcoming environment. - Telehealth Sessions
We provide secure video sessions for clients located anywhere in Tennessee, as well as Florida and New York (where our clinicians are also licensed). This option works well for clients balancing work, family obligations, or irregular schedules.
Your Imago Therapy Team
Our Nashville-based clinicians are certified in Imago Relationship Therapy and bring years of experience supporting couples through a range of communication challenges, life transitions, and emotional disconnects.
- Hope Spector, LPC‑MHSP
Certified Imago Relationship Therapist
“My therapy style is interactive, supportive, and goal-oriented.”
Hope integrates Imago techniques with CBT, DBT, ACT, and mindfulness. She works collaboratively with couples to reduce conflicts and support long-term change. - Rachel Fleischer, LPC‑MHSP
Certified in Imago Relationship Therapy and Prepare/Enrich Premarital & Marital Counseling
“I help my clients feel empowered to make positive changes and create a meaningful life.”
Rachel provides a collaborative and affirming therapeutic space, using a blend of Imago, CBT, and ACT to help couples rebuild trust and navigate relational challenges.
To learn more about our team and approach, visit the Couples Therapy page.
Exercises & Worksheets That Lead to Better Outcomes
Many couples find that the real breakthroughs in therapy happen between sessions. That’s why Imago often includes structured take-home work designed to build emotional safety, reduce reactivity, and create new relational habits.
Some of the tools therapists may introduce include:
- Zero-Negativity Challenge
A 24-hour reset focused on reducing sarcasm, eye-rolling, and reactive comments. Couples log slip-ups, reflect together, and build more mindful awareness of their tone. - Daily Appreciation Ritual
Each night, partners take a moment to share three specific things they appreciated about each other that day. This simple practice can help reinforce connection and shift attention to what’s working. - Relationship Vision Worksheet
Each partner lists 8–10 emotional experiences they want to feel more consistently in the relationship. These lists are then combined into a shared “north star” to guide ongoing growth.
Worksheets may vary depending on the therapist and the couple’s goals, but they’re always designed to be practical, respectful of time, and focused on creating meaningful change.
Criticisms & Limits of Imago Relationship Therapy
No therapy model is without limitations, and Imago is no exception. While many couples find it transformative, others may need a different approach or need to blend techniques of Imago with other strategies.
Here are some of the common criticisms of Imago therapy, and how we navigate them at Music City Psych:
- The dialogue feels scripted. This is true in the beginning. We encourage couples to think of it like “training wheels.” It provides a simple structure that builds muscle memory for calmer, more connected conversations.
- There aren’t enough large-scale studies. That’s a valid critique. We stay informed about emerging research and track outcomes with our own clients to ensure what we’re doing is working.
- It’s not always appropriate. Imago requires a baseline of emotional and physical safety. In cases involving abuse or fear, we refer out to crisis or trauma-informed services before any relational work begins.
- The focus on childhood isn’t always helpful or welcome. Some couples find it deeply relevant, while others don’t see the connection or simply aren’t ready to go there. We adapt the process to meet couples where they are, both emotionally and practically.
- The language in older resources can feel heteronormative or narrow. Our team works intentionally to adapt the model for LGBTQIA+ couples, neurodiverse partnerships, and blended families.
Have questions or concerns about whether Imago is the right fit for you? We’re happy to talk to you about it.
Frequently Asked Questions about Imago Therapy
What’s the main technique in Imago therapy?
The core practice is the Intentional Dialogue, a structured three-step conversation that includes mirroring, validation, and empathy. This slows down reactive exchanges and helps partners feel more heard and emotionally safe.
How is Imago therapy different from other couples counseling approaches?
Imago places less emphasis on problem-solving and more on understanding the emotional patterns that drive conflict. It helps couples move from reactivity to repair by exploring how past experiences show up in present-day interactions.
Are Imago therapists different from other counselors?
Yes, in that they have additional education and experience. Certified Imago therapists complete post-licensure training focused on the model’s theory and application. They’re trained to guide couples through the Intentional Dialogue and to adjust the process based on each couple’s communication style and relationship goals.
Is Imago therapy effective for every couple?
It’s a good fit for partners who feel emotionally safe together and are ready to engage in structured work. But every couple is different, and it’s important that your therapist is adaptable in their approach to suit you and your partner in the most effective way.
How long does Imago therapy take?
There’s no set timeline. Some couples experience meaningful shifts in just a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term support. At Music City Psych, the pace and duration of therapy are shaped by your goals, readiness, and what’s happening in your relationship.
Still have questions about Imago, marriage counseling, or relationship therapy? Contact us or read more about Music City Psych’s approach to Couples Therapy.
