Top Qualities of a Strong Relationship

By David Pearl, LCSW

Strong relationships involve flexibility, communication, intentionality, fun, compassion, and an overall sense of togetherness.  Life can be challenging and it’s special to go through it with someone that has your back.  Having a sense of togetherness does not necessarily mean agreeing all the time.  Being able to mutually see that what your partner is going through makes sense for them, based on who they are and how they think and feel, is crucial for good connection.

Flexibility in a relationship means that there is a sense of give-and-take.  There will be times that your partner asks you to participate in something that you’re not so keen on doing, and yet, because your partner is someone that is important to you, there’s a willingness to share the experience. It is important, however, to not fall into the trap of bargaining. This is not a tit-for-tat relationship.  Each moment is a separate event where you check with yourself about what is most important to you.  To be in a strong partnership, it is important to show up to support your partner.

Good communication involves acknowledging what is happening for you in the moment and telling your partner. When they are speaking to you about something meaningful, being able to disconnect from your own internal dialogue to show up and really listen to your partner, without reactivity, is essential.  Too often we get stuck in the trap of trying to come up with our own response or quickly reacting to what our partner has said, rather than listening with empathy to what it is that our partner is telling us.

Strong relationships involve being intentional.  Often times, we run on autopilot and we fall into the trap of reacting or going with the flow without thinking.  In a meaningful relationship, you are aware of what is most important to you, as well as to your partner, and are intentional about what is best for the two of you.

Can’t forget about fun! Whether this is scheduled fun or spontaneous fun, there are times to drop the seriousness and just go and enjoy your time with your partner.  This can even be done during times of conflict.  Fun can come in a variety of ways, whether this is low-energy fun like sitting by the fire and reading a book, or high-energy fun like playing sports or dancing, it is important to be able to enjoy your partner’s company.

It is important to have compassion not only for yourself and your own struggles, but also to have compassion for your partner.  Life can be so tender, which is why sensitivity, loving energy, and togetherness are at the root of a strong relationship.

Article written by:

David Pearl

LCSW, Psychotherapist and founder

I am a psychotherapist, executive coach, and organizational consultant helping athletes, performers, professionals, and businesses in Nashville, Tennessee, New York, and online via telehealth.

I obtained my Master’s degree from The Silver School of Social Work at NYU and my Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and Family Studies from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I am formally trained in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), and have certifications in Imago Relationship Therapy and Prepare/Enrich Premarital and Marital Counseling.

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